I've always said the unexpected things are the best. Well, okay, maybe not always but you know what I mean. Especially ever since I've started college, the unexpected things are always the things that make me the happiest, are the most long-lasting.
Now, one thing about me is that I worry. A lot. I worry about the little things, I worry about the big things. I create awful scenarios that will never happen and yet I worry about the possibilities. "What if." Those two words are my biggest enemy. And being someone with such a huge and wide imagination... Yeah, it can get ugly.
Today I discovered that, however much I worry and create scenarios, being hit with something unexpected that, for once, isn't good, is the worst. No preparation. Just wham!, you're hit and you can feel this awful twisting in your stomach and you know you want to cry, but you're just too shocked and for the moment you have to be strong and use your acting skills but as soon as that's done, you're running to the bathroom and locking the door and pacing back and forth as you sob silently, only silently because you have to, you don't want to answer questions and you don't know how you're going to fix this and life sucks.
*ahem* I'm okay. Really, I am. At least. I will be. I know that. It's just... hard to be excited about life right now.
And to anyone who's reading this, I could really use some prayers right now. <3