10/8/11

Needed: Straight Jacket

The last two days have been... Interesting, to say the least.

Basically, I've been up for almost thirteen hours right now and, if you look at the time signature of this post, you'll realize that means I've been up since 4:30am. You see, on Saturdays, I have work at one of my jobs (the one at the school cafeteria) from 5-9am. Usually this is fine and I just go right back to bed afterwards. But today was Mountain Days in town, this big whoop-dee-do downtown, and my second job at the cafe downtown needed me at 10am.

And now I'm home. And I really should take a nap but it's 5pm in the freaking evening and I just can't bring myself to lay down and take a nap. It's so bright outside, I have things I could be doing... Not that I'm doing any of them because I'm way too insane right now to be able to do them. So I'm sitting here at my desk, staring at my computer with ridiculously wide eyes, wishing I could cry but not really having the capability to because I'm that tired. I'm too tired to cry. WHAT??

And I'm, like, stabbing these keys. I'm not trying to, it's just happening. I feel like I might have one of those "Meet The Robinsons" moments... "BARIUM EINSTEIN COBALT KOOL-AID". I mean, I've always said that would be me. Out of all those characters, that would be me. But it's always been in a good humored manner, not in an "I'm actually going to legitly need to be sent to a padded room in a few minutes" manner.

Oh, my gosh, I'm never freaking doing this again. Never, you hear me? Never. I swear, this feels worse than the most horrible heartbreak I ever had. I mean, I felt sane then. I legitly feel ~insane~ right now and don't you dare make any comments about how I'm already insane, I was born insane, this is flipping different, you don't even know. I can't describe it. Oh, my gosh, I want to ~do~ something. I would say, I'd go on a run, but I went on a run yesterday because of how weird yesterday was and it was the first time I'd ran since May so my body is already sore from that and then being on my feet for about twelve hours straight on top of that, oh, my gosh, someone knock me out, send me to a padded room, something.

And, then, my muse has decided to get busy in the past couple of days, but for the wrong series. I've got The Gisola Trilogy, right? And then I've got this unnamed scifi series that is very... un-sketched out right now. I decided I'd finish The Gisola Trilogy and then do a scifi series since scifi is my favorite genre, I just have always had trouble coming up with something original. Then this summer, I came up with a basic idea. And, these past couple of days, my characters and their relationships have suddenly decided to happen. And they're beautiful. In The Gisola Trilogy, the main couple meets, hates each other, becomes friends, falls in love, right? Early twenties characters. In the scifi series, we meet the main couple and they're already engaged. After the first couple of chapters, we skip a few years, they're in their early thirties and married. These characters and their relationship are so much more mature and it's so interesting and fun and I love it and I want to work on it, but I don't because I need to do The Gisola Trilogy first... AARRRGGGHHH. My muse sometimes doesn't do what I tell it too. Which is good, sometimes, because it means I get these really creative things, but sometimes it's just dang frustrating.

Dang, I'm going to like pound these keys into my laptop. Poor things. I can't stop the force I'm putting in to them, though, I'm GOING INSANE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Never again, I tell you. Never. Again. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever.

So... Yeah, sorry for that huge ramble there, I'm insane. Send me to the nice men in lab coats, I need a straight jacket and padded walls. Like, now.

I think I might watch Meet The Robinsons now. Or write. I don't know. AAAAAAAHHHHHH.

...Sorry. :P

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