The last two days have been... Interesting, to say the least.
Basically, I've been up for almost thirteen hours right now and, if you look at the time signature of this post, you'll realize that means I've been up since 4:30am. You see, on Saturdays, I have work at one of my jobs (the one at the school cafeteria) from 5-9am. Usually this is fine and I just go right back to bed afterwards. But today was Mountain Days in town, this big whoop-dee-do downtown, and my second job at the cafe downtown needed me at 10am.
And now I'm home. And I really should take a nap but it's 5pm in the freaking evening and I just can't bring myself to lay down and take a nap. It's so bright outside, I have things I could be doing... Not that I'm doing any of them because I'm way too insane right now to be able to do them. So I'm sitting here at my desk, staring at my computer with ridiculously wide eyes, wishing I could cry but not really having the capability to because I'm that tired. I'm too tired to cry. WHAT??
And I'm, like, stabbing these keys. I'm not trying to, it's just happening. I feel like I might have one of those "Meet The Robinsons" moments... "BARIUM EINSTEIN COBALT KOOL-AID". I mean, I've always said that would be me. Out of all those characters, that would be me. But it's always been in a good humored manner, not in an "I'm actually going to legitly need to be sent to a padded room in a few minutes" manner.
Oh, my gosh, I'm never freaking doing this again. Never, you hear me? Never. I swear, this feels worse than the most horrible heartbreak I ever had. I mean, I felt sane then. I legitly feel ~insane~ right now and don't you dare make any comments about how I'm already insane, I was born insane, this is flipping different, you don't even know. I can't describe it. Oh, my gosh, I want to ~do~ something. I would say, I'd go on a run, but I went on a run yesterday because of how weird yesterday was and it was the first time I'd ran since May so my body is already sore from that and then being on my feet for about twelve hours straight on top of that, oh, my gosh, someone knock me out, send me to a padded room, something.
And, then, my muse has decided to get busy in the past couple of days, but for the wrong series. I've got The Gisola Trilogy, right? And then I've got this unnamed scifi series that is very... un-sketched out right now. I decided I'd finish The Gisola Trilogy and then do a scifi series since scifi is my favorite genre, I just have always had trouble coming up with something original. Then this summer, I came up with a basic idea. And, these past couple of days, my characters and their relationships have suddenly decided to happen. And they're beautiful. In The Gisola Trilogy, the main couple meets, hates each other, becomes friends, falls in love, right? Early twenties characters. In the scifi series, we meet the main couple and they're already engaged. After the first couple of chapters, we skip a few years, they're in their early thirties and married. These characters and their relationship are so much more mature and it's so interesting and fun and I love it and I want to work on it, but I don't because I need to do The Gisola Trilogy first... AARRRGGGHHH. My muse sometimes doesn't do what I tell it too. Which is good, sometimes, because it means I get these really creative things, but sometimes it's just dang frustrating.
Dang, I'm going to like pound these keys into my laptop. Poor things. I can't stop the force I'm putting in to them, though, I'm GOING INSANE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Never again, I tell you. Never. Again. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever.
So... Yeah, sorry for that huge ramble there, I'm insane. Send me to the nice men in lab coats, I need a straight jacket and padded walls. Like, now.
I think I might watch Meet The Robinsons now. Or write. I don't know. AAAAAAAHHHHHH.
...Sorry. :P
10/8/11
10/7/11
Brave Girls Club
You might notice there is a badge under my "About Me" now. It's for the Brave Girls Club Daily Truths. Subscribe to these daily truths and you get a little message of encouragement every day in your email. They're beautiful. A couple weeks ago, my mom forwarded me a couple of them... The first one she sent is still my favorite.
I've actually printed this one out and have it posted on my bulletin board on my desk so I see it every single day. I've since subscribed to these emails myself and it is truly amazing how nine times out of ten, the daily truth is exactly what I need that day. I really recommend it. Even if you're feeling on top of the world and don't feel like you need any encouragement, let's be honest. You can always use someone on the sidelines cheering you on.
10/3/11
Best Weekend of Every Six Months
General Conference, every time, seems to come exactly when I'm at my lowest, exactly when I need it the most. And this time, there were several other things that happened that just helped pull me back up. I've had more opportunities to be social, I've been reassured by simple words, I've had things to look forward to happening that give me something to look forward to in the near future, I've had angels perform simple miracles.
There were three main things I went in to conference wanting to hear about and all three were talked about so much. One of them was trusting the Lord more fully. And can I just say... The idea of trust was everywhere. And then it all culminated in one big talk of awesomeness by Robert D. Hales. His entire thing was just... Oh, my gosh.
Another one of the things I've been trying to figure out in my life is a direction to take. Specifically, after I graduate. Ever since deciding I was going to be a theatre major (which I actually decided back when I was still just a senior in high school) I've had many various ideas of what to actually do with theatre. Of course, I wanted to be on Broadway. Then I wanted to be a high school drama director. Then I wanted to be a television actress and I actually got really, really excited about that one. I had a clear cut plan and everything. And then Heavenly Father threw something in my life that made me realize... Nah, I don't really care so much about that. So then I wanted to go to Disney and work as a character there. Work my way up to being a Disney Princess. I'm totally serious here, okay?? Also got really excited about that one and had a clear cut plan and everything. Guess what happened!
Heavenly Father threw something in to my life that made me realize I didn't really care so much about that. Ever since then I've been flailing, not being able to think of anything that excites me. And then, starting with the Relief Society Broadcast and continuing throughout the entirety of General Conference, coming to a final nail in the coffin with Matthew O. Richardson's talk... I realized what I need to do. I need to be a teacher. A high school drama director. Or maybe even younger kids. Not middle school, that I couldn't do, but if I could find an elementary school with a drama program or one that wanted a drama program...
This isn't to say that I'm quite "excited" about the idea, but I like the idea. And I kept getting the impression over and over and over again so I know it's the right direction. I even have written down at one point "I need to be a teacher" with the underlines and everything. Also, it really works with my Patriarchal Blessing as well. It makes some things in it make more sense.
The other point that I went in to conference with is a bit more personal so I'm not going to share, but I will say that it was addressed and I was extremely comforted. It also had a lot to do with trusting the Lord and the whole "Thy will be done" thing, so... yay things connecting!
Other things that stood out to me:
*Richard G. Scott describing the scriptures as our friends-- definitely going to start memorizing more scriptures now :)
*Barbara Thompson quoting the first scripture I ever memorized: Nephi 15:8 "And I said unto them: Have ye inquired of the Lord?"
*Dieter F. Uchtdorf talking on topics of several devotionals I've given: the paradox of man is nothing yet the worth of souls is great in the sight of God. People look up at the sky and feel small. I've always looked up at the night sky and felt powerful because God made all of it for me.
*Dieter F. Uchtdorf saying what matters is we're doing the best we can.
I've decided I want to have conversations about logic and such with this man. I feel like his logic and mine would get along really, really well.
*David A. Bednar... Well, to my mother's pure joy, I think I'm going to start doing family history now.
*Carl B. Cook: "It's better to look up."
*Robert D. Hales saying, basically, it takes patience to gain patience. (DANG IT.)
*Matthew O. Richardson saying it's not how far you need to go, it's how far you've come. Take it one step at a time.
*Kazuhiko Yamashita's entire talk. I have a close friend who's a RM, a close friend who is currently a missionary, and a close friend who is currently preparing to leave on his mission. This talk reminded me of how much I love these men and how much respect I have for them and the power they have.
*Everything about President Thomas S. Monson. Highlights:
"Hello!"
"All You Need Is Love."
"We love you, Bob."
"I love you. I pray for you."
His downright adorable grin and comedic pauses and timing. He is hilarious!! And soooo cute. I couldn't get over it.
Also? There was one point where he said something about being vigilant and my friend and I looked at each other... "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" ...Yay being nerds...
Basically... General Conference has got me excited about life and what my future holds again. Which is something I've been really needing. I was reminded that I knew what trials I would face and I had faith enough to trust Heavenly Father and Christ's plan. I had faith that I could get through this when I was in the pre-mortal existence. I should be able to still have that faith now. I have a bright future ahead of me. I really do. I can't wait to watch the two talks I fell asleep through (D. Todd Christofferson and L. Tom Perry) as well as the Priesthood session (again with the favorites thing but I was told Jeffrey R. Holland just killed it) in the next few weeks. And I'm determined to keep these things that I've felt and learned this weekend with me through the next six months.
There were three main things I went in to conference wanting to hear about and all three were talked about so much. One of them was trusting the Lord more fully. And can I just say... The idea of trust was everywhere. And then it all culminated in one big talk of awesomeness by Robert D. Hales. His entire thing was just... Oh, my gosh.
Another one of the things I've been trying to figure out in my life is a direction to take. Specifically, after I graduate. Ever since deciding I was going to be a theatre major (which I actually decided back when I was still just a senior in high school) I've had many various ideas of what to actually do with theatre. Of course, I wanted to be on Broadway. Then I wanted to be a high school drama director. Then I wanted to be a television actress and I actually got really, really excited about that one. I had a clear cut plan and everything. And then Heavenly Father threw something in my life that made me realize... Nah, I don't really care so much about that. So then I wanted to go to Disney and work as a character there. Work my way up to being a Disney Princess. I'm totally serious here, okay?? Also got really excited about that one and had a clear cut plan and everything. Guess what happened!
Heavenly Father threw something in to my life that made me realize I didn't really care so much about that. Ever since then I've been flailing, not being able to think of anything that excites me. And then, starting with the Relief Society Broadcast and continuing throughout the entirety of General Conference, coming to a final nail in the coffin with Matthew O. Richardson's talk... I realized what I need to do. I need to be a teacher. A high school drama director. Or maybe even younger kids. Not middle school, that I couldn't do, but if I could find an elementary school with a drama program or one that wanted a drama program...
This isn't to say that I'm quite "excited" about the idea, but I like the idea. And I kept getting the impression over and over and over again so I know it's the right direction. I even have written down at one point "I need to be a teacher" with the underlines and everything. Also, it really works with my Patriarchal Blessing as well. It makes some things in it make more sense.
The other point that I went in to conference with is a bit more personal so I'm not going to share, but I will say that it was addressed and I was extremely comforted. It also had a lot to do with trusting the Lord and the whole "Thy will be done" thing, so... yay things connecting!
Other things that stood out to me:
*Richard G. Scott describing the scriptures as our friends-- definitely going to start memorizing more scriptures now :)
*Barbara Thompson quoting the first scripture I ever memorized: Nephi 15:8 "And I said unto them: Have ye inquired of the Lord?"
*Dieter F. Uchtdorf talking on topics of several devotionals I've given: the paradox of man is nothing yet the worth of souls is great in the sight of God. People look up at the sky and feel small. I've always looked up at the night sky and felt powerful because God made all of it for me.
*Dieter F. Uchtdorf saying what matters is we're doing the best we can.
I've decided I want to have conversations about logic and such with this man. I feel like his logic and mine would get along really, really well.
*David A. Bednar... Well, to my mother's pure joy, I think I'm going to start doing family history now.
*Carl B. Cook: "It's better to look up."
*Robert D. Hales saying, basically, it takes patience to gain patience. (DANG IT.)
*Matthew O. Richardson saying it's not how far you need to go, it's how far you've come. Take it one step at a time.
*Kazuhiko Yamashita's entire talk. I have a close friend who's a RM, a close friend who is currently a missionary, and a close friend who is currently preparing to leave on his mission. This talk reminded me of how much I love these men and how much respect I have for them and the power they have.
*Everything about President Thomas S. Monson. Highlights:
"Hello!"
"All You Need Is Love."
"We love you, Bob."
"I love you. I pray for you."
His downright adorable grin and comedic pauses and timing. He is hilarious!! And soooo cute. I couldn't get over it.
Also? There was one point where he said something about being vigilant and my friend and I looked at each other... "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" ...Yay being nerds...
Basically... General Conference has got me excited about life and what my future holds again. Which is something I've been really needing. I was reminded that I knew what trials I would face and I had faith enough to trust Heavenly Father and Christ's plan. I had faith that I could get through this when I was in the pre-mortal existence. I should be able to still have that faith now. I have a bright future ahead of me. I really do. I can't wait to watch the two talks I fell asleep through (D. Todd Christofferson and L. Tom Perry) as well as the Priesthood session (again with the favorites thing but I was told Jeffrey R. Holland just killed it) in the next few weeks. And I'm determined to keep these things that I've felt and learned this weekend with me through the next six months.
 |
| I mean, now, really. Who can resist that grin? I know I can't! |
10/1/11
Doctor Who Rant
MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE DOCTOR WHO: THE WEDDING OF RIVER SONG EPISODE.
I knew this was coming. I knew it. I mean, really. The only really good episode (granted, it was the best episode ever) was The Doctor's Wife ever since RTD left and Moffat took over.
I, devoted Doctor Who fan since day one of it starting up again in America with the episode Rose, am done with Doctor Who.
I mean, now, really, Moffat. The Doctor can't get married. Especially to friggin' River Song whom I've hated since day one. Seriously? We even had an episode in the same season where it's made clear that the one and only woman in the Doctor's life is the TARDIS. And then you have him go and get married. To River Song.
Also? It wasn't as bad as season 3, but the Christ allusions where ridiculous.
Once and for all, Moffat, you've lost me. I'm going to go live in Pete's World now, thank you.
I knew this was coming. I knew it. I mean, really. The only really good episode (granted, it was the best episode ever) was The Doctor's Wife ever since RTD left and Moffat took over.
I, devoted Doctor Who fan since day one of it starting up again in America with the episode Rose, am done with Doctor Who.
I mean, now, really, Moffat. The Doctor can't get married. Especially to friggin' River Song whom I've hated since day one. Seriously? We even had an episode in the same season where it's made clear that the one and only woman in the Doctor's life is the TARDIS. And then you have him go and get married. To River Song.
Also? It wasn't as bad as season 3, but the Christ allusions where ridiculous.
Once and for all, Moffat, you've lost me. I'm going to go live in Pete's World now, thank you.
9/28/11
Forget Me Not
So I finally got around to watching the General Relief Society Broadcast tonight. I know you're not supposed to have favorites but, come on, everyone does. Mine?
I. Love. Dieter. F. Uchtdorf. So. Much.
Every single point he made spoke to me, personally, and spoke to how I've been feeling and what I've been praying about.
1) Forget not to be patient with yourself.
2) Forget not that some sacrifices are better than others.
3) Forget not to be happy now.
4) Forget not the "why" of the gospel.
5) Forget not that the Lord loves you.
After three months of having one consistent desktop image (a record for me), I've changed it to forget-me-not's. I think I'll even print out these five points and tack it to my bulletin board.
Meanwhile, I love that, above the video there's this ticker down to General Conference on Saturday. It's even counting the seconds! It's so exciting!!
I was talking with my mother on the phone tonight and I was saying how there's really only one major thing left this week before it's smooth sailing until this refreshing breath of fresh air this weekend. I'm so excited. Which, now that I think about it, is really nice. Because lately I haven't been able to be excited about much of anything. But I really can be excited about General Conference. I can't wait. :)
I. Love. Dieter. F. Uchtdorf. So. Much.
Every single point he made spoke to me, personally, and spoke to how I've been feeling and what I've been praying about.
1) Forget not to be patient with yourself.
2) Forget not that some sacrifices are better than others.
3) Forget not to be happy now.
4) Forget not the "why" of the gospel.
5) Forget not that the Lord loves you.
After three months of having one consistent desktop image (a record for me), I've changed it to forget-me-not's. I think I'll even print out these five points and tack it to my bulletin board.
Meanwhile, I love that, above the video there's this ticker down to General Conference on Saturday. It's even counting the seconds! It's so exciting!!
I was talking with my mother on the phone tonight and I was saying how there's really only one major thing left this week before it's smooth sailing until this refreshing breath of fresh air this weekend. I'm so excited. Which, now that I think about it, is really nice. Because lately I haven't been able to be excited about much of anything. But I really can be excited about General Conference. I can't wait. :)
8/10/11
Waiting Tables
I've started another blog dedicated to all my creative writings: short stories, poems, fan fiction, etc. Right now all that's there is The Impossible Train Ride that I posted here a few days ago, but from now on anything like that will be posted at "Waiting Tables". I'll also be putting up some old stuff, too.
Check it out! Waiting Tables
EDIT: After working on the new blog further, I've come to the decision that it will actually be updated on a regular schedule: once every day. Because I love you. :)
Check it out! Waiting Tables
EDIT: After working on the new blog further, I've come to the decision that it will actually be updated on a regular schedule: once every day. Because I love you. :)
8/8/11
Nostalgia
So let me explain where this came from first. We've been going through all the Harry Potter movies as a family in order to prepare ourselves to see the new one for my brother's, Tucker, birthday yesterday. So, as you can imagine, add that to the fact that I annually listen to the Harry Potter series while working in the corn and Kate decided to join in on that since it was her first year in the corn, Kate and I have been... in a very Potter mindset. Well, and then add on the whole Pottermore excitement this week... Yes, Kate and I are magical. Pottermore told us so. Bwahahahaha... *ahem* Anywho...
Both Kate and Allie have known for a while what their Patronuses are. Kate has an owl, Allie has a penguin. (Yes. A penguin. Be frightened, dementors. Be very frightened.) I've never really been satisfied with anything I could think of. My first thought: dragon. Way too much. Then phoenix. I'm nothing like Dumbledore, sadly. Okay... Tiger? No... Bear? No... Fox? No... Lizard? No... Hippogriff? (Is that allowed??) No... Monkey? No... I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT MY PATRONUS IS. Heck, I know what my happy memory is. No contest. But what in the world is my patronus?
Finally I resorted to google image search and typed in "unique animals". That's how desperate I was.
Then I found it. Ring-tailed lemurs.
I tell Allie and, her being a late 90s baby, her first thought is King Julian. "I like to move it, move it..." from Madagascar. While I love that movie, and I love King Julian ("We love the people. ...They're not a very lively bunch."), King Julian is not the number one lemur dear to my heart.
Luckily, Kate, being a mid 90s baby, understood.
So... I may or may not be watching this show all over again now. I'm truly amazed at how much I remember... The food seeming to make him magically talk, the clay characters, how the stuff in the closet always falls on them, "I was leaping through the forest... Leap, leap, leap...", his funny little laugh... The Kratt Brothers have a very dear place in my heart. I started with them in Kratt Creatures. Found out a few weeks ago they've got another show now: Wild Kratts. It's a bit odd, but let's be honest. The Kratt Brothers themselves are a bit odd. They're so much older now, too! They're grey and balding! O.o
Anywho. I love Zoboomafoo. And I've decided I'm going to have DVDs of the series. And my children will grow up on the Kratt Brothers. Because I love them so. :D
Both Kate and Allie have known for a while what their Patronuses are. Kate has an owl, Allie has a penguin. (Yes. A penguin. Be frightened, dementors. Be very frightened.) I've never really been satisfied with anything I could think of. My first thought: dragon. Way too much. Then phoenix. I'm nothing like Dumbledore, sadly. Okay... Tiger? No... Bear? No... Fox? No... Lizard? No... Hippogriff? (Is that allowed??) No... Monkey? No... I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT MY PATRONUS IS. Heck, I know what my happy memory is. No contest. But what in the world is my patronus?
Finally I resorted to google image search and typed in "unique animals". That's how desperate I was.
Then I found it. Ring-tailed lemurs.
I tell Allie and, her being a late 90s baby, her first thought is King Julian. "I like to move it, move it..." from Madagascar. While I love that movie, and I love King Julian ("We love the people. ...They're not a very lively bunch."), King Julian is not the number one lemur dear to my heart.
Luckily, Kate, being a mid 90s baby, understood.
So... I may or may not be watching this show all over again now. I'm truly amazed at how much I remember... The food seeming to make him magically talk, the clay characters, how the stuff in the closet always falls on them, "I was leaping through the forest... Leap, leap, leap...", his funny little laugh... The Kratt Brothers have a very dear place in my heart. I started with them in Kratt Creatures. Found out a few weeks ago they've got another show now: Wild Kratts. It's a bit odd, but let's be honest. The Kratt Brothers themselves are a bit odd. They're so much older now, too! They're grey and balding! O.o
Anywho. I love Zoboomafoo. And I've decided I'm going to have DVDs of the series. And my children will grow up on the Kratt Brothers. Because I love them so. :D
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